All posts by : Besidone Ebule

“The thing always happens that you really believe in, and the belief in a thing makes it happen.” – Frank Lloyd Wright.

Australian female tennis star Ash Barty recently fulfilled her childhood dream when she won her third grand slam at the Australian Open. Barty said she would hit the ball against the wall every day for hours after school. She started playing tennis at the age of four and has played in many championships worldwide. At the age of 12, she was playing against adult males. Barty has won three grand slam titles at the 2019 French Open, Wimbledon 2021, and 2022 Australian Open. Barty’s success story today all started with a dream.

It isn’t easy to find anyone who became genuinely successful without a dream in any field of human endeavor. The question that should agitate your mind most is, ‘do I have a dream?’ Do I have something worthwhile to commit my time and energy to become successful? This question is not as easy to answer because we all have different strengths and abilities, and if we try to focus our strengths on our lesser capabilities, failure is not far away. The good thing about this is that dreaming is free for everyone, and you can start right away! For example, you can dream of becoming president of your country, a celebrated sportsman, famous inventor, entrepreneur, philosopher, etc. The list is endless.

Dreaming alone is not a guarantee for success. Most times, you will have many limiting beliefs and negative thoughts and opinions that will creep into your mind telling you that you cannot achieve your goals. Most of these thoughts will come from past experiences, especially in your childhood. For instance, if you grew up in an atmosphere of encouragement and support, you are more likely to have the self-confidence to try new things. But if you grew up in an atmosphere of constant criticism and a lack of opportunity to try things out, you will likely believe that you cannot succeed. It would help if you believed in your dreams.

Luckily, it is possible to challenge and overcome your doubts and succeed. You need first to agree that the things you dream about are possible even if they don’t make sense to you immediately. Usually, your mind will flash thoughts that are possible. If you want to succeed, you must believe in those dreams and start working towards them. You may see yourself creating an app to solve problems, starting a movement for the betterment of humanity, engaging in a societal cause, etc.

The year is still fresh, so it is an excellent time to re-evaluate if you have dreams in the first place and then if you believe in them at all. If you take this step, you will surely be on your way to success.

We’ll be happy to hear your comments or questions in the comments section below.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Besidone Ebule is the Project Director at B2SL, where he works to encourage personal development and build success networks. You can contact him at bessy.ebule@b2sl.org.

“Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it was stupid”. – Quote attributed to Amos Dolbear.

Hey guys, I hope you have started 2022 on a clear and focused note. This week, we are going to look at capitalizing on your strengths. I also hope you will be dedicated to your goals enough this year to achieve them.

I love the quote above because it suggests that everyone is a genius in some way, including you! You don’t have to undervalue yourself or have poor self-esteem because you believe you are not good enough. Instead, you should identify your strengths and capitalize on them so you can shine to the world. Have you ever wondered how easy it is for birds to fly or fish to swim? Have you ever wondered why monkeys like bananas or dogs like bones? It is always fascinating to see how different species shine in their natural environment.

 Have you ever wondered how Ronaldo or Messi became so skillful in football, how Tiger woods became so good at golf, or how athletes like Usain Bolt can run so fast? How about the other boys and girls in your class who seem to have a unique ability to understand certain subjects? I remember once in Junior Secondary School when our Mathematics teacher introduced simultaneous equations. He asked if anyone knew how to solve it. My friend raised his hand, went straight to the board, and solved the equation. The whole class stared at this boy in disbelief because not one of us knew anything about a simultaneous equation. He became the teacher’s favorite student, as would be expected. If you give me a simultaneous equation to solve today, I will still need to consult a Junior Secondary Mathematics textbook to find examples to guide me! But because I cannot solve simultaneous equations does not make me useless or stupid.  

Our society often pressures us to conform to pre-set ideas of success. E.g., you must be a lawyer, doctor, engineer, IT specialist, etc., to succeed. Some of you might already be facing pressures because of the choice of course to study. However, irrespective of the pressures you face from society, you can only be you and succeed at conveniently doing things you can do. You must realize that you can successfully do just anything in this world. So you have to look at the areas you are good at and focus your energies on them for you to be outstanding. The only way you can do that is to analyze yourself, note your abilities and strengths, and then capitalize on them.

Don’t waste your time trying to do everything or what others do. Don’t go into singing, coding, or medicine because you see others succeeding. Like the quote above, if you ask a fish to climb a tree, it will never do so even if you provided ladders. The fish will fail to rise and lose self-confidence because it is not in its natural habitat. In the same way, there are vocations or professions that you should avoid because they are going to make you lose confidence and become miserable. Focus on what makes you look like a star so you can shine brighter.

If you are finding it hard to determine what you are good at, ask those around you, or reach out to us to assist you, and we’ll be more than happy to work it out with you.

I will be happy to hear your comments or questions in the comments section below.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Besidone Ebule is the Project Director at B2SL, where he works to encourage personal development and build success networks. You can contact him at bessy.ebule@b2sl.org.

“When you stop growing, you start dying”. – Williams. S. Burroughs.

One of the characteristics of living things is growth. If you have ever planted anything like a flower, one of the things you want to watch out for is whether it is growing and looking fresh with healthy leaves. You get concerned if you do not see any sign of growth after a few weeks of planting. You then begin to fear that your plant may be dying, and you try to make the plant survive. As humans, we are happy when a child grows physically, socially, and intellectually. If a child is not growing physically, or cannot interact with others, or is not able to grasp certain things at some point, then there is cause for worry.

Your mindset is a set of beliefs that shape how you understand yourself and the world. Your mindset determines how you feel, think, and behave. For example, you may loathe trying anything new because you believe you will fail. A Stanford psychologist, Carol Dweck, has identified two types of mindset; fixed mindset and growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities cannot change. For instance, if they are good at Maths, they do not require extra effort to pass.

On the other hand, people with a growth mindset believe that they can become better at anything with persistence and conscious effort. If you strive for excellence, having a growth mindset is crucial. But how do you develop one? Here are some ways.

DON’T DISPARAGE FAILURE

Many people believe that failure is terrible because society seems to suggest so. After all, nobody recognizes those who came last in the race or the class. All the praises and prices usually go to the best performers. However, failure is an integral part of success. Before a child learns how to walk, there are many falls. But the fall does not stop a child from getting up and trying again. If you wrote an exam and failed, don’t think it is the end of the world. Enroll for the exam again. Go back to the books if you are learning to code and you’ve not gotten the language. Don’t think it is the end of the world because you failed once. Instead, work on improving yourself for future performance.

FOCUS ON THE JOURNEY

Late American tennis star Arthur Ashe once said, “success is a journey, not a destination.” Too often, people focus on their big goals and forget the process. Big goals and dreams are reasonable, but they are also not easy to achieve. Rather than focus on the purpose of losing weight, for example, enjoy the new habits you learn, such as healthy eating, discipline, and the knowledge that you can do it. Thinking of Writing a book is a great idea. But rather than focusing on the published book, think about the new words and better writing skills you get in the process. These are small wins that point you towards excellence.

TAKE ON CHALLENGES

A person who has a growth mindset will always take on new challenges. Challenges are opportunities for growth so embrace them. The hardest part of any accomplishment is in starting. Take the first step to reading for ten minutes a day to improve your reading habit. Learn to listen and ask questions when you don’t understand. Face your fears, and you may be surprised that it is not as difficult as you thought.

I believe that you can mark yourself out for excellence if you decide. The question is, do you want to be an excellent person?

I will love to hear your comments and questions in the comments section below.  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Besidone Ebule is the Project Director at B2SL, where he works to encourage personal development and build success networks. You can contact him at bessy.ebule@b2sl.org.